United we stand – Motherhood

My week started with a trip to the Doctors, as I developed Sinusitis, my god it was so painful, my eyes streamed and the front of my face felt like it would explode, breathing through my nose was a no go, and in turn it seemed to play my head up, so I had the head pain from the sinusitis and my IHH, so following some fab nasal spray and codeine, it’s  finally today I’m feeling loads better but washed out.
Acupunture is going well, the session I had this week we decided against adding the electrodes, as lately the needles have not stayed in and flown out after a few seconds, so to ensure a good session we left it out. I have also got some small individual pads to use on myself every other day, they are good you pop them on the pressure points and every hour or so you gently apply pressure and massage the points on your hands and arms!

All over the country today we celebrate Mother’s Day, I feel truly blessed to have two beautiful daughters, age 12 and 10,  I never knew there could be love like the love I have for them, (they are however currently fighting over minecraft in the background) it some what ruins the ambiance I’m trying to create lol.

Our mother hood journey begins before us woman give birth, pregnancy tinkers with the very structure of our  brain,  After centuries of observing behavioral changes in new mothers, scientists are only recently beginning to definitively link the way a woman acts with what’s happening in their prefrontal cortex, midbrain, parietal lobes, and elsewhere. Grey matter becomes more concentrated. Activity increases in regions that control empathy, anxiety, and social interaction. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. In other words, those maternal feelings of overwhelming love, fierce protectiveness, and constant worry (this lasts forever I think) begin with reactions in the brain. (The atlantic.com)  So you’re actually primed to form strong bonds with your child and your child is equally ready to connect with you, and I think you will all agree those bonds are unbreakable,  from the moment I gave birth, I was completely overwhelmed with love for my children, which turned into feeling overwhelmed that this was how much my Mum (and Dad) have loved me, no matter what I did- mood swings, school reports, boyfriend choices, car accidents (sorry) it was just something I couldn’t grasp until I experienced it as a mother myself, only mood swings so far in this household.

My mum is the best mum in the world. She’s my rock and she is without a doubt my superhero but without the cape, I am lucky to be able to say that my mum is my best friend and even though I tell her I love her every day, I still don’t think she quite understands how much she means to me, there is still the strongest bond possible, and always will be.

I know there are times when I open my mouth and my mother comes out,  however, when I think about the prospect of “turning into my mother” my thoughts are more hopeful than full of dread, as in, I hope there’s a chance that I will.

Motherhood makes us laugh, cry, tests our patience, we worry, we get scared, we feel proud, sometimes maybe ashamed, we endure changes to our bodies (10 years on I can’t get away with it’s baby weight lol)  but you know what we are all in this together, united we stand – us mothers we rock – and as the day draws to an end, take a moment to think of those who have lost their mother, those who have loved and lost, those who yearn to be a mother, and the parents who are both the mother and father  – We are all amazing remember totally amazing.

On a personal note I would like to thank the gorgeous women in my both of my girls lives who love, care and cherish them – we love you all today and every day.

Loads of ❤️ ASIBTAF 

Wife and Mum first, IIH warrior second. 

You know those weeks where you doubt yourself in everything, it’s been one of those, I have been told many times by various people you are never given more than you can handle , but who actually knows what we can all handle? How do ‘they’ know our limits? 

Sometimes living with IIH pales into insignificance when you have a role as a mother and a wife, you can’t just think about yourself (selfishly) , you have to be that supportive figure to them, offering reassurance, kindness, love and nurturing them best you can.

It’s been a hard week for varying reasons, and my illness hasn’t actually been one of them, so this is postitive in itself. I am still continuing with my acupuncture sessions which are going really well, this week we progressed to 15 needles so I somewhat resembled hell raiser lol, but I think it is having a positive effect as the pain at the moment is not so intense, which for me is amazing.  Also this week I have had an appointment at the Doctors, for a blood pressure check, as there was some concern about how high it was, and whether it needed treating, (my blood pressure will be high if my brain pressure is high) BUT even with the stresses of the week, which I will go into later, my blood pressure gave a really good reading which we are hoping is due to the weightloss and healthy eating regime! So more positivity right there.

Now as with so many of us, money is the cause of such stress and worry, money is the root of all evil so they say!  As I’m not able to work at the moment I feel there is extra stress on my husband Kev, working hard six days a week to provide for us all, which he does barely grumbling, Kev is a builder, he has his own business, working closely with another builder, together and individually they have produced some amazing houses from scratch  with varying price ranges, houses I could only dream of living in…. so unfair lol, but after Christmas they started on a new job,  where they had been recommended to the client.

I can’t say too much for the fear of slander etc etc, but after doing extensive work, the client has taken it upon himself not to pay,  not pay – do people actually have any idea of the recupussions when they decide I’m not going to pay – the stress it causes, the anger, then the self doubt, all of this I have witnessed from Kev, hearing him toss and turn in bed worrying about the money we havent had, then turning the light on to discuss it again because he just can’t understand it, he has done this job since leaving School (he is now 45) and never has he not been paid, never ever, he and the other Builder are in disbelief, as the client has now changed locks etc so they can’t get on site, so it has been a week of reassuring him that I think he does a brilliant job, and that this client is a giant knobhead, that no one should make people doubt themselves, and we might have to put this one in the fuck bucket and move on.

And move on we will, together we have got through so much, yes money makes life easier, but we are all alive and still together, we have now learnt he has done this to several other builders, let them do the work then kick them off, the sad thing is I doubt he is led in his bed worrying about how to pay his tax bill or his household bills, he is probably led there smug that he has pulled off yet another scam, I am a massive massive believer in Karma, and I say what goes around comes around.  Kev has moved onto a new job, money will catch up, and I said to him, you have a home, two daughters who adore you, a loving family,food in the cupboard, thankfully bills are paid and you have good health, don’t give men like that a second thought. 

Whilst all this has been going on, this week we have also had the roller coaster ride of parenting thrown into the mix, definitely a journey that we as parents all have to go through, a journey of highs and of lows, happiness, tears, anger -actually every emotion going is probably the best way to explain Motherhood.

Kev and I go through this journey together to bring our two gorgeous girls up but along the way, we have the best family and amazing friends by our sides offering their help and love, who could ask for more? Oh and so I’m told hahaha wine and gin help! 

I would not change it for the world 
I hope you have all had a happy and heathy week.
For me this week I have definately used my mantra -A smile is better than a frown 

Lots of love ❤

ASIBTAF 

My start of January positivity!

Today was my first hospital appointment of the year, taking on board that my new approach is to attend them with more positivity and make a more concerted effort to leave my negativity in the past.

My side kick for the day was my oldest (still on her school holidays), she is a brilliant companion, helping me around, making sure we have a toilet stop before we head to where I need to be, “you don’t want to be needing it when you are in there, do you Mummy?” As she ushers me in, she is like my second mother so caring and considerate of all my needs lol.
I am under the illusion that I am heading to the physiotherapist department for some help with my balance, think I have touched before on my balance and spatial awareness e.g judging depth of stairs, steps, curbs, or the floor feeling like a swimming pool, but mainly when my pressure is high I tend to become really unsteady on my feet, wobble off balance, vear to the right, unfortunately for me I can look drunk, without a touch of alcohol passing my lips!

When I say under the illusion, it is what I was told when they rang me to book me in, I was taken for my intial new patient consultation, and Vicky the physiotherapist explained she would be helping me all she could to reduce my IIH pain and to see what could be done for my balance, she was lovely, perhaps this was my positivity kicking in but I felt like finally someone was doing something that could work or reduce the symptoms at least, but when she pulled the Acupuncture word out the bag, I couldn’t of been more happier, back last November I was lucky enough to meet up with someone else with IIH, someone who understood my daily grind, she was also able to enlighten me with things that helped her, and Acupuncture was one of those things, so I mentioned this to my Neurologist who said the waiting list was around a year and to expect a long wait, he said he would refer me, so you can imagine my excitement when Vicky said she would be doing it today!

Vicky told me that one  of the great advantages of traditional Chinese medicine is that it has an entirely different theoretical framework based on the flow of energy, or ‘qi’. It is possible that she may see signs of disruption to the flow of energy or blockages which may, from a Chinese perspective, be responsible for a build up of pressure at the top of the body in the head. Some of the classifications in Chinese medicine thought may appear simplistic but often accord with how people experience their conditions – ‘feel like I’m sinking inside’, ‘feel like my head is about to explode’, and so on. The clear understanding of the various flows and how they are disrupted can often point to systemic problems which treatment may help to alleviate.

As the needle came out of the packet, my loyal side kick looked utterly horrified grabbing my hand, caressing it and telling me it will be alright, I immediately reassured her that I would be fine, it doesn’t hurt (I hoped) and that it was to help my head, Vicky too assured her it was nothing to be alarmed about, but she didn’t have to watch, but there was no moving her, she was there, that was that lol.


The needles were placed firstly in my head, I wouldn’t say it was painless but definitely nothing to complain about.


Hands next, I felt quite a dull feeling from the needle in them, strange sensation.


Lastly feet, the left foot I felt nothing really but definitely an odd sensation in the right.


Apparently the needle positioning and how many etc will change with each appointment. But for today that’s where they were, they were left in, all whilst lovely daughter was reassuringly rubbing a part of me she could find that didn’t have a needle in, looking quite repulsed, even more so when I asked her to be my photographer!

Vicky told me I would possibly feel more tired than usual later in the day, but to go with it, and it may reduce my pain slightly.

I can’t say yes I feel amazing, but I can say that my right eye doesn’t feel as sore and pressured as it did previously this morning,  so small positive steps, yay.

I’m back there next week for longer, so will you keep you posted on how it goes.

Do you remember the floating turtle that my oldest was demanding in a previous blog, So Kev and I said she would need to earn the money to buy it, as we had spent enough over Christmas, using her initiative she asked Kevs mum if she had any jobs that needed doing, this resulted in her spending the day with Nanny on Tuesday and earning the money.

So on the way back from the hospital, we popped into Argos and made a purchase.


Some of you may be observant enough to notice that the turtle (the turtle that was the most cutest thing on the planet and she needed it because it was in the sale)IS NOT A TURTLE ITS A 🐸 FROG.

After seeing that the frog was £9.99, cheaper than the turtle, the frog was by far cuter than the turtle in her eyes, I personally think the excitement that she would have £5.00 left definitely swung it for her and the frog is now the lastest addition to the Andrews household!

I think she loves it that bit more knowing she worked hard for that money, and her excitement was a lovely end to our morning out!

  • Day 1 of this years Hospital Appointments ✅ 
  • Day 3 of healthy eating ✅ 
  • Positive vibes ✅ 
  • Frog 🐸 toy ✅ 

I hope your day was a happy and healthy one!

Big ❤ ASIBTAF xx