You know those weeks where you doubt yourself in everything, it’s been one of those, I have been told many times by various people you are never given more than you can handle , but who actually knows what we can all handle? How do ‘they’ know our limits?
Sometimes living with IIH pales into insignificance when you have a role as a mother and a wife, you can’t just think about yourself (selfishly) , you have to be that supportive figure to them, offering reassurance, kindness, love and nurturing them best you can.
It’s been a hard week for varying reasons, and my illness hasn’t actually been one of them, so this is postitive in itself. I am still continuing with my acupuncture sessions which are going really well, this week we progressed to 15 needles so I somewhat resembled hell raiser lol, but I think it is having a positive effect as the pain at the moment is not so intense, which for me is amazing. Also this week I have had an appointment at the Doctors, for a blood pressure check, as there was some concern about how high it was, and whether it needed treating, (my blood pressure will be high if my brain pressure is high) BUT even with the stresses of the week, which I will go into later, my blood pressure gave a really good reading which we are hoping is due to the weightloss and healthy eating regime! So more positivity right there.
Now as with so many of us, money is the cause of such stress and worry, money is the root of all evil so they say! As I’m not able to work at the moment I feel there is extra stress on my husband Kev, working hard six days a week to provide for us all, which he does barely grumbling, Kev is a builder, he has his own business, working closely with another builder, together and individually they have produced some amazing houses from scratch with varying price ranges, houses I could only dream of living in…. so unfair lol, but after Christmas they started on a new job, where they had been recommended to the client.
I can’t say too much for the fear of slander etc etc, but after doing extensive work, the client has taken it upon himself not to pay, not pay – do people actually have any idea of the recupussions when they decide I’m not going to pay – the stress it causes, the anger, then the self doubt, all of this I have witnessed from Kev, hearing him toss and turn in bed worrying about the money we havent had, then turning the light on to discuss it again because he just can’t understand it, he has done this job since leaving School (he is now 45) and never has he not been paid, never ever, he and the other Builder are in disbelief, as the client has now changed locks etc so they can’t get on site, so it has been a week of reassuring him that I think he does a brilliant job, and that this client is a giant knobhead, that no one should make people doubt themselves, and we might have to put this one in the fuck bucket and move on.
And move on we will, together we have got through so much, yes money makes life easier, but we are all alive and still together, we have now learnt he has done this to several other builders, let them do the work then kick them off, the sad thing is I doubt he is led in his bed worrying about how to pay his tax bill or his household bills, he is probably led there smug that he has pulled off yet another scam, I am a massive massive believer in Karma, and I say what goes around comes around. Kev has moved onto a new job, money will catch up, and I said to him, you have a home, two daughters who adore you, a loving family,food in the cupboard, thankfully bills are paid and you have good health, don’t give men like that a second thought.
Whilst all this has been going on, this week we have also had the roller coaster ride of parenting thrown into the mix, definitely a journey that we as parents all have to go through, a journey of highs and of lows, happiness, tears, anger -actually every emotion going is probably the best way to explain Motherhood.
Kev and I go through this journey together to bring our two gorgeous girls up but along the way, we have the best family and amazing friends by our sides offering their help and love, who could ask for more? Oh and so I’m told hahaha wine and gin help!
I would not change it for the world
I hope you have all had a happy and heathy week.
For me this week I have definately used my mantra -A smile is better than a frown
Lots of love ❤